All those small talks about ” distance makes the heart grow fonder” on planet earth can’t erase how shitty it is to say good-bye again and again…… to someone you love .
But there are ways to make the Long Distance Relationship suck less…and maybe even feel good. This can only be achieved as long as you communicate properly and stick to a visiting schedule….no defaulting.
Most times, The grass always looks greener in other people’s lives, because few people share the truth of the amount of work that goes into relationships (hence why 50% of marriages end in divorce). Relationships — even the best relationships in the world — require constant attention, nurturing, and work. If you can understand and accept the need for constant attention and work in your relationship, you’re started in the right direction.
THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS
Well , long Distance relationships LDR is no rocket science. brace yourselves with the few points below:
1. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP CAN FEEL “BORING”
It’s just important to realize that the excitement and raw passion of the early ‘in love’ phase will fade to a degree as the relationship progresses . However, those who truly love each other will work it out , find joy and happiness in the everyday things of life. When you can achieve this, you know your relationship is truly built to last.”
2. EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER
Oh dear !!! Some days will be fine, Do all the usual daily routine — go to work, catch up with friends for drinks, walk your dog, read a book, and work out every day to look fit . But there will be terrible days too. Days when you don’t want to get out of bed or do anything meaningful — except for embracing your pain and loneliness. Days when you seriously question your decision: “Is it worth it? Why am I doing this?”.
3. TIME WILL BE YOUR ENEMY
When you finally get to be together, you’ll savor each and every moment. You’ll plan to do all those amazing super-romantic couple things, or simply enjoy the warmth of actual hugs as long as possible…..with loads of deep kisses, Yet you will never get enough time…. to exhaust togetherness, warmth, feelings, excitement, fantasies.
4. YOU WILL LIVE IN A TWISTED REALITY
Yea, They love you, They’re never there, but they’re all yours. You spend too much time inside your head replaying all those sweet moments spent together, having all those daydreams and conversations. Your mind is bleeped at intervals because distance is making your thinking stray so much that you begin to assume….” what if’s “.
5. IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU
The earlier you realize this, the better.”Some couples have great difficulty navigating this stage. Never do anything without involving your partner. The fact that one person has other parts of their life (i.e. a sport or hobby, etc) in which the other is not a part of can be considered a betrayal to the partner. Tag them .
6. FORGIVENESS IS CRUCIAL
Forgiveness and the ability to let things go is very crucial. Yes, arguments will happen, but they need to be fully dealt with, and then forgotten about and never brought up again. This allows you to move forward daily on a clean note. To survive a long distance relationship, couples need the ability to fully resolve, and then permanently put away, a dispute irrespective.
If your partner does something that hurts you, you should communicate about it and work out a solution together…This keeps the relationship Bond Strong and Healthy.
7. SLEEPING ANGRY
Of course……its not going to be a smooth ride all the time. sometimes you get to go to bed angry due to a whole lot of reason – long day at work or school, you’re tired and extra cranky, not beign able to communicate with your partner throughout the day……urrgh…..and so on.
Rather than rehashing the event playout over and over again, sometimes is best to just go to bed…..so you can wake up with a clearer mind.
8. ARGUEMENTS IS UNAVOIDABLE & NORMAL
When you’re in a long- Distance relationship, arguing is inevitable. It doesnt really matter the level of seriousness or whose fault it is , what really matters is how you communicate during and after the argument.This is because – how you repair the damage after a fight is actually more important than the content about which you’re arguing.
For the greater phase of this relationship, you are alone. Your partner won’t be around every time you desperately need them, you might be experiencing one of those “bad days” when you are one step away from yet another mental breakdown, or those days when you fail and need more support that any sweet words on face-time, & Skype can convey. But in all, you learn to cope with a lot of things on your own, and you grow stronger and more mature in the process.
No matter the depth of love involved in your relationship, its perfectly normal to Question and have doubts about it. whether it’s about the future of the relationship or if your partner loves you.’ As long as the doubts aren’t lingering and constant, they’re normal and healthy.”
11. UN- SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS
Lool…… most of you can totally relate to this….. Friends hating on your decision, asking silly and not so silly questions about your relationship and partner. Many believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your friends may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken.
Why don’t you find someone else to date? How do you cope with your Desires? Does your Boyfriend even exist?
This is really the tough part. you keep fighting it daily. Even if you stay away from temptation, it can occasionally find you. “Social media pretty much guarantees you’re going to interact with people from your past and present who might not have the best of intentions. However, being aware of the temptation allows you to keep your guard up and fight it…..No matter how burdensome it maybe, always give your partner details about it.
MAINTAINING A LONG- DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Maintaining a long distance relationship doesnt really cost much or require much if the HEARTS involved are willing .
1. PUT YOUR PARTNER FIRST
If both partners put each other’s needs and happiness first, both will be taken care of and will both feel like a priority. There will be no room to nurse ill feelings of beign cheated.
2. MAKE YOUR “TOGETHER TIME” A PRIORITY
This is a time when you can let go of outside factors ( distractions or otherwise) and truly focus on what’s happening individually and in your relationship. This is your time to reconnect.
You can take a new class( Gym, Business, etc) , make a reservation at your favorite restaurant, go for a run, steal away in a hotel room for uninterrupted sex, or Quickie, Just talk( chat, video calls, voice notes), Run errands together, Cook together. Be very attentive to your partner at this point.
If two people can’t find a way to openly and honestly communicate their needs and feelings to one another, the relationship doesn’t stand much of a chance long-term. Couples must find a way to communicate regularly, openly, and directly. Good communication is key.
Relationship is not only centered on Recieving, but also Giving. If you find yourself not giving very much, or feeling resentful of how much you give and how little you receive back, you may be in an unequal relationship where one side is taking more than they are giving.
5. SET GROUND RULES
There is need to be clear with what you expect of each other during a long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise or for granted. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.
6. DIRTY TALKS
The fact that you are apart, doesn’t mean your sex life should be frozen. Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. It is a biological need,as well as an emotional need.
Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.
7. AVOID DANGEROUS SITUATION
If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either
(A) Not do it
(B) Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her.
Don’t be careless about issues like this… because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels powerless or lacking in control.
It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you, unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with a potential predator – a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation.
8. HAVE GOALS
No couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down. Make plans with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.
It is also important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals, So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
9. STAY HONEST
Talk about your feelings – fear, insecurity, jealousy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.
10.KNOW EACH OTHER’S SCHEDULE
It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting.
Also try to Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g. exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.
11. SOCIAL MEDIA
Yea…. keep track of each others activity on social media. Like each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet each other. Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Show that you care. Be cool about stalking each other.
Gift a personal object or item you would want your partner to hold on to. There is power in a memento. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not….. To others its meaningless, but to the one you love, it has an inestimable value.
13. UPDATES ON FAMILY & FRIENDS
Necessary or not, you should keep each other updated on happenings with each other’s family and friends. Gossips and scandals are always the best things to go on and on about….. lol
14. STAY POSITIVE
constantly inject positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. The waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet and worth it.
Some good trick to staying positive –
(A) be grateful all the time.
(B) be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back.
(C) be thankful for the little things.
(D) be thankful for each other’s health and safety.
Long distance relationships may be Tough, Slippery, and full of Temptations, They have their own Unique surprises too.
Thank you for Reading!!!!!!!